How to Become Celibate

There are some people who believe that being abstinent and being celibate are two very different things. A lot of times when it comes to thinking about celibacy there is an instant connection to religion that seems to get peoples minds in a tizzy. Both distinctions mean to abstain from sexual intercourse, but with celibacy there is the reason behind the notion that people sometimes forget to acknowledge and that is, CELIBACY IS A CHOICE. When I became celibate it was mainly because I believed NO ONE deserved me. I LOVED sex but I also loved me more than allowing someone to get into my head and manipulate my feelings all for my “cookie”. I had been hurt far too many times and I wanted to be sure I knew how to love myself before I let anyone else in.

When you first make the determination that you will be celibate it might be hard to get over the no physical intimacy hump, then you’re celibate for a while and it gets much easier. I can’t say when it gets easier because it will be different for everyone. I do KNOW there are times you will get overwhelmed with your flesh and you’ll feel like you deserve to have a physical intimate connection with another human. The desire gets really intense! It’s like you begin to question yourself and rethink the whole commitment—and that desire runs DEEP!!! However, if you have a strong enough intention and purpose for your decision to be celibate than the temporary impulses in your body, celibacy can and will work for you!

HOW CAN I BECOME CELIBATE?

1. Make a commitment to yourself.

2. KNOW the reason you are choosing this path. Whether it be religious, spiritual cleansing, or practicing mindfulness and switching directions on a path that was leading you to internal/external chaos, IT IS YOUR CHOICE!

3. Change your focus. Eliminate a lot of the outside noise that doesn’t sit right within your spirit. You will know right away what things do not serve you well on your new journey. You may even lose some friends along the way who may not be supportive of your change. That’s ok…everyone can’t go with you on your self-love [self preservation] journey.

4. Avoid putting yourself in sticky situations that can lead you to be tempted beyond control.

5. Start a meditating/prayer/workout routine that allows you to clear your mind and work on goals you have set for yourself.

“YOU’RE TEMPLE, YOUR CHOICE”!

I'm giving up...Sex, that is!

I became celibate because I don’t appreciate sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship. I remember thinking I’m just going to give up sex because no one deserves me. No one is worthy of my intimacy, I had been hurt and it was of my own design that I’d gotten to this point—I trusted him, I trusted him. After all I thought he was in love with me, I mean—I was in love with him...but deceit was at the center of our “relationship”. Come to think of it, our “relationship” had no actual foundation I had fooled myself to believe it was real. His lies had to taste real good rolling off those lips. I remember feeling so hurt and so naive when it ended. 

WTF, how did I get here? I convinced myself that the only way for me to feel better was to stop interacting with men all together. I told God I wasn’t going to do this again, I wasn’t in a vulnerable place I was in a place where I didn’t trust men anymore. After this relationship had scarred me I decided that I should  just be celibate because there’s enough women to go around out here for these men to survive without me in the mix. I’ll just concentrate on God and do some self work and all will be fine.